spinning wheel

that is what i feel like. that i am whirling and twirling in circles of high, intense speeds. and it would be great--except it is in circles. which means i get nowhere. and nowhere has never suited my personality very well.

i have never been the sit and wait and wish sort of person. i know that when i am feeling those things--it is not a good sign. chances are, it means that i am in some kind of a funk. that i am feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and helpless--and those are three things i sincerely ABHOR feeling.

i have always been unsure about the ultimate goal in my life--if there even is one. but i have always been very good at knowing how to achieve the goals i do know i want--so it stands to reason that--if i could just figure out this one thing--then i would have a foolproof way to get there. but that's not how it works because the journey will end too soon.

this is why i am inclined to believe there is a god out there somewhere. and i think he's quite devilish. or at the very least--has a wicked sense of humour.

i'm not sure if the reason it's been so hard for me to wake up is because of the time difference between la and ny or if it's because my bed is that damn comfortable or because of the above feelings.

and maybe i don't care so much why anymore because today was a very accomplished day!

let's have many more!

~~~

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